Storyworth Entry #4 - Relatationships With Siblings Growning Up

The following is part of an ongoing project I am working on in 2020 using the website Storyworth, a collection of memories to share with my family.

What was your relationship with your siblings like growing up?

My only sibling, my younger sister Kimberly Christine was born in July of 1977. I was four years old when she was born and I just barely remember it. 

I don't really remember when she was born, but I do remember around that time we moved into a new house. Basically, what I remember about that is my hair blowing in the wind, riding in the back of my daddy’s truck on a country backroad carrying a load of stuff to the new house (I mean, don’t all four year old's ride seatbelt free in the back of a pickup truck? Nothing to see here, let's move along). I also remember that around that time mama had zero patience for me and I had to "go play" & be quiet, A LOT. (Damnation!)

Although I already spent a lot of time with my grandparents, this was probably the real beginning of me being at their house all the time. I’m not going to lie here, my sister was not the happiest baby. She wanted mama and mama only! She would not have anyone else and she screamed if you tried to touch her (or speak to her, or look at her, or even move your head in her direction). I don’t know what her problem was, but I was not a fan and because of that I spent a lot of time being jealous of the attention showered on her. tormenting her and aggravating her for entertainment (and getting spanked a lot for doing so).
(Those of you who know that my sister & I run this blog together are probably wondering who on earth I am talking about here because surely it is not my beloved, BFF Kim.)

When I look at our relationship now as adults, I am truly humbled to my core that she will have anything to do with me after the awful way I treated her (pretty much until we were both grown). 

Because we are four years apart, we seemed to always be out of sync. When I started school, she started to walk. When I thought I was cool in middle school, she was cool for learning to read. When I went to high school, she was a goofy 6th grader with a mullet (oh wait, I had one of those too...bless our hearts). When I went to college, all high school people were idiots to me. I feel like I should pay for her to have therapy thinking back on all the schemes that I dreamed up and hateful words that came out of my mouth that left her little heart hurting when all she wanted to do was be included in what I was doing. 

Instead of helping her and cheering for her, I was always jealous of her and insecure because she was the opposite of me in every way and everything I wished that I could be. (Spoiler alert, she grew out of that unhappy baby phase.) She was blonde, beautiful, funny, sunny, talented, loved by everyone and most of all, she was a normal person who could hear. I have so many regrets about our childhood. I think I will wear a permanent cone of shame for the remainder of my life. Now, as adults we talk every single day and although our kids are of different ages and marriages at different stages; we both speak fluent sarcasm and there is no shortage of hilarity to be discussed between us on a daily basis. I am grateful for second chances. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have a sister like her, she is a shining example of all things that are good.

I was not a very good big sister to Kimberly Coots, but I will go to my grave trying to be a good big sister to Kim Love. I am so thankful that she wants to be my friend as an adult.  I love you, Kim!❤